The software plight

I joined Tea party. On this occasion, this post.

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I always think I would rather own an auto than rent this office laptop. I know you also want to do the same.

Then what man? Life of a software engineer is pathetic only these days. People are cracking lot of jokes and  making him feel depressed. Software engineer means person who repairs computers or what?  For example, If lot of pop-ups are coming in the home computer, people are coming running to the software engineer and asking him to repair that. If he enables pop-up blocker, they are feeling he is one genius.  God only knows how to save those poor souls.

Whenever people know you're a software engineer,  they are first asking  one thing. Did you go to America? Arey, if one person works in a SW company means he should definitely go there or what? If you tell them no means, they are putting one face and thinking "this fellow is waste. That is why his company dint send him to America." One fellow goes to America on project work means he should work there till late night to finish the project in time. In one month of stay there, he gets two days to roam around and he puts 800pics in Facebook. You hit a like for that album and conclude that poor fellow is enjoying without thinking how much he has to work.  Fellow who is in India is happily coming home on time and having fun here. Any problem YOU have? I want to ask.

If a software engineer is fat means, people are saying  "Software  engineers are fat because you sit in a place for long time and also eat lot of pizzas and burgers." I only want to ask - are people working in government offices getting paid for jogging and working out? They're also sitting in front of files/computers no? And they can also eat pizzas and burgers no?  Boss, Dominoes/Pizza hut do not have the words "only for software engineers" in their menu card. All that they are having is words like "Garden fresh" and "Farmer's choice". Ultimately whatever your order, you get the same pizza with colorful toppings in different designs.

To top this, you'll say software engineer doesn't know the value of money because he is paid in loads. Boss, probably the only person who knows value of time and money is a software engineer. One reason why he waits for the month's last working day counting days and fondly calls it salary day. Go ask him to treat you on that day, he will look for the best restaurant in town in Cluburb/Zomato. Other days, you will see that he is very penny-pinching, that is one separate matter. Arey what will he have after Bookmyshow, CCD and friends like you loot him, you only tell?

All in all, please don't downplay any SE boss. Especially in your blogs and Facebook wall posts. The news will spread faster than a worm in software. If your fellow SE is hurt, it might even show in your reviews. Don't blame me afterwards.

That One Guy!

"Your latest crush" was one of the columns I used to deliberately avoid in slam books. Why because back then I dint know what "crush" meant. When I used to turn pages to see what others wrote (which I was warned not to), I could see variety of names. Tom Cruise was the most common name. Again, I had no idea who he was(no thoos please). I always thought Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt are same until I saw Fight Club (ducks to avoid sandals).  Another common name I used to see was Shahrukh khan. If I see any one write that name now, I would probably make them watch Ra-one again and again. If they don’t change the name even after that, murder only.

 

By the time I was of "not-having-any-crush? You’re that type or what?" age,  Alaipayuthey/Sakhi got released. I easily fell for Madhavan in that movie because

1. His name was Karthik.


2. He was bold, responsible and also fun.


3. His name was Karthik.
   
   [caption id="" align="alignright" width="348"] Source: myfirstshow.com[/caption]


4. He had dreamy hair and he looked superb.

 

I realized it is not just infatuation when "Run" got released. Tagged by one close friend to write about "that one guy". So, this post!

 

Of dogs!

Disclaimer: Not for those who love pet dogs.

Whoever generalized "A dog is a man's best friend " is wrong. If you ask me to list my enemies, probably the second name in my list would be dogs ( first being spiders). I hate them that much. Both domesticated and street dogs. I find it cute when a pet dog calmly walks beside the owner  like a Royal but it is irritating when it scares others walking on the same road. I also like it when the dog in Vodafone ad gets the girl's scarf for the boy but I'll probably  jump out of my skin if see a dog running towards me like that. I'll explain why.

The first problem with a pet dog is that it is used to cuddling and pampering and expects the same when it sees other familiar faces. All I know is to smile at/shake hands with



known people. I cannot ever imagine hugging a dog. Secondly, some dogs bark at the top of their voice for the guests to acknowledge their presence. I don't need that because I wont bat my eyelid once I see a dog around. And third, some sit beside the guest and expect a share from his/her plate. No way, I am not going to do that even for gazillion dollars. It is even more irritating when the owner sits grinning and doesn’t take the poor fellow's fears seriously. Some even laugh it off saying "Chill! My kanna doesn’t harm anyone. He just wants to be friends." Don't you just hate it when that brat who scared you is called cute names?

Tyson, a German Shepherd that used to live in our opposite house in VKSP was one such monster. He was as tall as me. When he generally opened his mouth to show his tongue, the sight was so horrifying that it could be patented for horror movies. Every time our cricket ball/bird fell inside their compound walls, we used to shiver to go and ask for it.Tyson always had this "come-inside-I'll-get-you" expression on his face. But the uncle who owned him used to say "come inside beta. He is a very nice dog. He won't bite you." Tyson's fierce looks used to rule out any whit of truth in his statement. One day when one of us actually dared to open the gate despite other kids' warnings, Tyson barked so loudly that all his ancestors resting in Heavens above must have definitely heard his voice. We then decided from next time we would rather buy a new bird than fall prey for a dog.

If pet dogs are like sterilized needles, street dogs are like sharp uncalled piercings. I mean ultimately both of them will pain you. I could clearly hear my heart pound when I saw 10-15 street dogs in a single sight when I was on my way to a friend's house.  It was as if they were having some caste meet. I pledged to go around a temple for 108 times if I escaped unnoticed. And the plight of carrying some eatable in hand and walking past a street dog needn't be explained. I once saw a black dog stand on its hind legs in front of a small girl who was eating an ice-cream. One sight which made me nearly faint.

So on the whole, I cannot walk a road 'undisturbed' with a pav bhaji packet in hand if there is any street dog in vicinity. I cannot go to any house which has this "beware of dogs" plate on the gate and come out without embarrassment.  I cannot even call a dog a dog. When I try to shout for my rights, someone from Blue Cross will come over and say have some pity for the animals. Why this kolaveri di?

At the bus-stop!

"I dint say that!"
I  heard a male voice say that.
"I am sure I dint say that!"
I did,I did hear a male voice say that.
For the past 15 years, there are just 2-3 voices for which I instantly fell. I like the diction generally but sometimes it is just the sound. Deep and perfectly masculine. This voice was
actually both. So count++.
I was looking away from that male to look disinterested but I could hear all that he spoke.
"Did I ask you?"
"Then do not tell me all this"
I knew I was eavesdropping but couldn't stop myself.
"Sudha..please.."
Should be his girlfriend/ wife.
"Ok..if you want to.."
Certainly it must be his girlfriend. If it was his wife, he would have just asked her to chuck it. Men (married/engaged to someone), in general, are mean to girls who talk a lot. Guys aren't. Why because it is hard to get  to a girl. Specially with today's male-female ratio, it is equivalent to securing a seat in top B-schools. Cut-throat competition, aftermath of securing one is costly, living with one is again a struggle but in the end, his life is settled.  Having known all this, who would risk to let his girl go just for his ego?
"Tell me in detail then."
This is how a perfect guy should be. If his girl wants to speak, he should let her speak till her mouth hurts. Not being interested in random talks or cutting her short saying he has work or faking another call- all this is not good.
"Ok?"
"Aah..ok."
He was also acknowledging each sentence of hers.
"That's nice"
"Relax. Keep your cool when such things happen."
"Cool. Right thing!"
He was showering all good words when she was complaining about something. What a gentleman! I was incidentally looking at MB's Businessman poster then. Suddenly, I felt may be he too looked as awesome as MB. I casually turned to look at his face, unfortunately he turned away from me right at that moment. I dint care and started looking at the old hoarding again.
"Did they really mean it?"
"What shall we do then?"
May be the girl told her parents about their relationship and they were not happy about it.
"I know but what shall we do?"
"Ok fine. Let us meet and talk. You're anyways coming to the bus-stop, right?"
"Yeah..bye" he cut the call.
It is unethical to listen to others' phone conservations without their notice, I know that. But I was not bothered at all. If the irresistible voice was one reason, the topic of the talk was the main one. The anxiety in me started slowly rising till that one moment he asked her to come and meet him.After that, it instantly shot up. Mr.Super-voice was silent. May be he was thinking about how to convince her parents. Or may be he wants to cool her down first by treating her or buying her a chocolate.

I suddenly felt the place was as silent as a grave. Not because there were no vehicles around and not because they weren't honking (which is impossible to happen in Hyderabad). If Sudha's parents agree, she can spend rest of her life just listening to him, I thought to myself. Again, merely listening to all that men say isn't a trait of today's women. May be she can have him read newspaper or novels for her.

Suddenly I heard his phone ring.
"Hello Sudha"
"Yeah at the bus-stop."
She must have come. I dint want to see how they both look together because I was happy with just the audio.
"Where are you?"
"Ok, I see you."
I heard his voice fade away and turned back to see Sudha come. Sudha or sudhakar came to meet him. Both of them talked for sometime and happily boarded Gitam's engineering college bus. The bus sped away from the place leaving me behind with a wide smile and a tale to tell!

Yappie budday!

“Akka” I heard a loud shout when I was swiftly walking  towards home. I dint bother to reply because I was thinking who would call me akka when the world is used to an other word to address any girl who is past teenage. No points for guessing the word. “Akkaaaaaa”  this time the shout was much louder. I turned in that direction and saw a little girl who looked as if some doll had come to life. She was standing in her verandah and was dressed in a pattu skirt and pattu blouse. “ivvala naa happy birthday” she shyly said. I was amused. Not at the cliché “happy birthday”. Birthday is supposed to be preceded by happy for all telugu kids. If you say just birthday, the whole meaning is lost for them. I wanted to shout back “happy birthday” but I simply gestured my best wishes. Then, in a filmy way, my master mind slipped into memories of my birthdays. Someone  promptly started rotating a mosquito coil in this scene.

An ideal birthday has to be like this:

• If you ask me, both the birthday and the day before are anticipated. The day before birthday is special because the festive mood starts slowly setting in. Friends would repeatedly ask about the birthday dress, chocolates and party details.


• Father would come home early and take his little girl for shopping. Mother, like a waiter in Shankar Vilas/Gayatri Bhavan, would take down the list for next day’s party. The heroine would be equally busy.  Packing chocolates in a big round bottomed box, cajoling mummy for Rs.50-100 so that she can buy something in the school canteen and thus making her sibling jealous of her.


• Next day is real fun.  The birthday girl puts on the dress and will admire herself for such a pretty one.  This is one day she wishes was not a school holiday or some exam day.


• She stands in the morning prayer proud and confident as numerous eyes check her out. The class would sing “happy birthday to you ,many boyfriends to you” and she would coyly smile at the song.  She distributes the chocolates and invites her dear ones for the evening party.

PS: Remember to say something good about her and her dress, the birthday girl is really fishing for a compliment when she is talking to you.

• In the evening party, the drawing-room in her house would be decorated with balloons and party papers. Cake is ready and luring. Numbered candles are lit and the routine follows. Remember to take a gift wrapped in colored paper for the birthday girl. Your Rs.500 in an envelope wouldn’t count as much as the Rs.50 pencil box wrapped in teddy’s gift paper would do.


• People disperse and the birthday girl will sit unwrapping the gifts till late night. Ask her the next morning, she'd  say she got X pencil boxes, X-1 pen sets and X-2 board games as gifts.


•  Next day, she is no longer ‘the birthday girl’ and hence no longer special. Her boring school uniform is back and so is she singing “happy birthday to you” for some one else. She sadly looks at the calender wishing every year had just two days.

Here I am wishing every year had just two days and I wouldn’t age every year. The terrible fact that I was born before this millennium began is making me feel I belong to stone age. Jokes apart, I have decided the little girl in me wouldn’t grow at all. Let her tummy grow, I will pamper her with golgappas and pastas. Let her like zaree saris and not kurti-jeans like she used to. I will buy her whatever she wants.  In short, the princess in me shall remain royal like ever despite of changing seasons.

PS: All ARR fans will like changing seasons. So do I :)

Next post would be Two-to-Tango. Nothing related to IIIT. I promise :)

At cinemas

Being an ardent lover of films, I am often seen standing in the ticket queue outside cinemas , waiting for the balance due at the popcorn counter inside the hall or rushing to the screen not to miss the title credits. Be whatever theatre, 70MM screen in our locality or some multiplex , these sets of people have never missed my attention inside the hall.

I don’t care when your film starts:  Such people solicit their gracious presence only after if it is at least half-n-hour past the start of  film. I understand not everybody is so particular about the reel on family planning or INC like me and moreover it is not a weekly status meeting in a software office for everybody to be on time. But dear audience, because you’re already late, it is your courtesy  to quietly settle down in your allotted seats and not disturb the poor chaps who are deeply engrossed in the movie by stamping their foot and spilling your popcorn/ sweetcorn/ whatever on them. To err is human , I understand. But then to apologize is divine these days.

Booo, I missed it:  Thanks to the wonderful accent and impeccable acting skills of our actors, sometimes  we cannot understand what is happening onscreen. People in this set nudge their neighbors and ask them to explain the script/humor from the point they missed. Nothing wrong in being curious, but not at the cost of someone’s comfort. Imagine how bad it would be when you’re enjoying your favorite song on screen you hear some loud caws from behind.

Look at my new smartphone:  Smart phone is something which we can surely show off. But not inside the theatre after the film has begun. The person sitting in your front holds his iphone in the air killing apps or dismissing reminders. Thu! Imagine a romantic scene in progress and you hear a crackling ringtone that nearly makes you jump off your seat. I had such experience one day. There was a scene in which one of the supporting characters died and a ringtone which meant “this was due for long” started playing promptly.  The owner dint silence the call. Instead, after letting it ring for sometime he answered the call and started talking to someone staying overseas. Yeah, I could easily make that out from the volume in which he was speaking.  He talked about the CBI raids on Jagan, chances of Telangana over united AP and how his little daughter kicked his mother-in-law which he wanted to do.

‘Home theatre’:   A cinema is not a home theatre. It is meant for use by 200-300people. People who are presumably tall might have a problem resting their legs on ground. Hence as soon as the slide “Do not put your legs on the front seat” is shown, they’re reminded of their duty. You want to sip your Pepsi but instead you see a dirty boot on your arm-rest which has already kicked your glass off it. Some people rest their heads on their hands objecting the screen from view. All you get to see is the swanky watch, trendy bracelet and a small sneak-peek for you in between the hands. You can do your favorite neck exercise to peek.

Baby don’t cry: Everybody loves babies. So do I. But not cry babies and touch-me-nots. Also, I also have lost respect for parents who ignore their babies’ cries and shouts.  Is not their duty to at least go out with the baby and come back after he/she stops crying? Tackling babies is difficult sometimes (ask my parents), so dismissing this. Some kids(not babies) are real menace. They repeat dialogues and sing songs while their parents proudly keep watching and others give them nasty looks. I have turned a monster for such kids these days. I made it a point not to calmly bear the noise but to at least politely ask the kids to be silent.

That’s it for now. If you want to say “as if you never did this earlier” to the above-  I can only say this: I almost barge into the hall when the cleaning staff come out,  I never talk when the film is on run because I do this work(only this) with utmost concentration, my smartphone was outsmarted long time ago, I’m not that tall ( sad no, I know ) and I don’t have babies/kids.

Auto madam!

Having gone to school with 9 members in a 4 seater auto-rickshaw(Auto in short) for 4 years, I know what a typical Auto is like. It has three wheels and a black leather cover atop its chassis. Modern autos have a button whereas our school auto had a hand lever which had to be pulled, cussed at and pulled again to get the engine started. Some autos have a small wooden board of width 0.4-0.9cm in addition to the cushioned seat. People like me can barely put their hands on it, it is so thin. The autos also have a leather sheet hung on the sides which drivers claim will shade the passengers from rain. In fact it neatly creates a way for rain water to come inside the auto and the passengers are drenched in water mixed with dust on the sheets which were cleaned at the time of India's independence. Almost every auto has film stars' pictures on the inner sides with their names or funny quotations. The side view mirrors in most of the autos have a sensuous lips symbol on them. And the most priced possession of Hyderabadi autos is a stereo player which plays the awesome-st songs ever composed. With those high-fidelity speakers and the super-increased tempo thanks to the intelligent player, the songs will surely bring a change in your mood. I bet.

One bad day, I had to take an auto to some place X in Hyderabad. I could have taken a city bus  but then I should know how to cling to a bus in motion by means of a rod.  Sadly I don't. So I walked out of our office and saw someone heading towards me with his hand pointing to me. Did I do something wrong? Then I heard his shout-"Auto madam". The term 'Auto madam' sounded funny. It didn't sound as 'Auto? Madam' to me. It sounded as 'Auto madam'. It was funny and misleading just like Aishwarya Rai singing 'Auto auto wada..nuvvu automatic wada..' in Robot. As I am very smart, I understood what he meant and told him my destination with some landmarks.
He: Bait (Sit in Hindi)
Me (thinking - How do Madam and "Bait" go together? Is it not "Baitiye"?)
Me: (Pointing to an electronic device so new that it can be put up in Industrial fair as an exhibit)Is this meter working?
He: Meter?
(He gave me a nasty look as if I had asked him to give away his salary. Then he started speeding from that place with a nod.)
Me: Okay bhaiyya, How much do you want? (I had no other choice!)
He: You tell me madam.
Me (thinking - Why does he really want to know?)150
He: Give 250. Come sit.
Me: 250 is too much.
He: Madam, I have to come back alone.
Me (thinking - Did I say Mars/Saturn instead of X?)
Then I lectured  him about the latest report of census taken in X, how likely it is for him to get another passenger from that area and made him agree to come for Rs.240. I know I will not and cannot become rich by saving that Rs.10. It is a matter of prestige and victory of good over evil.

Hyderabadi auto drivers are very talented and unmatched. Our auto traveled with the speed of light. It managed to get into any gap in between two vehicles however small it was. The driver kept me entertained with popular songs like pakistani ghazals and remix of Raja's 'jabilli kosam 'in some alien language. He noticed that I was not able to talk over phone and increased the volume so that I will have a reason to hang up. How understanding he was! He made sure he hit at least one pedestrian on road and made me learn one more cuss word. After reaching the landmark, I made him stop the auto just a few feet from there. He charged Rs.10 for that extra distance, took Rs.250 which he first quoted  and fled from that place in triumph. He thus taught me a lesson not to be lazy - I should have been active and should have walked to my place from that landmark.

I turned back with red face only to see him bargaining with someone and they immediately gave in. Smart people know it is no use bargaining with auto drivers. I am having second thoughts about my profession now. Why not buy an auto-rickshaw for myself and sit outside a SW office after the company shuttles leave?

Preparing for the interview!

Are you on the verge of completing your graduation/PG?
Did you recently get a job?
Are your parents taking too much interest in wedding stuff?

Congratulations, your placement season has just begun. The slightest hint you get about this is when your parents ask how do you like your recently wed cousin's groom. Give a positive answer, they take it as a green signal for them to begin the hunt. Give a negative answer, a long lecture on "what makes a man a perfect groom?" will follow. Eventually, the search for the groom begins and all of a sudden, you start hearing about some damn relatives/family friends whom you thought never existed.

Meanwhile, Singles- your dreams of meeting Mr.Perfect will continue to be dreams and prepare yourself for changing your ideas on perfection. Others, Try watching films like HDDCS, Mounaraagam(heavy dose I know),etc to know how to get over your past relationship. Watching English sitcoms is one easier way to do it. While you are mentally preparing for the unprepared, the atmosphere gets heated up, thanks to relatives. When in a crowd, Remember to smile shyly while replying anything that has the term "wedding/groom" in it. If you don't want to look into someone's face, keep your head down and draw figures with your toe. If you don't want to stay in that place, smile for one last time and rush to your room. All these are signs of your being shy.

One fine day, you will find your mother/father super jubilant when talking to you. You can easily guess what is coming- A marriage proposal! Act surprised and look at the groom's profile with a mixture of emotions-coy and happiness. The location of the guy will certainly be US because it is your first marriage proposal. Your parents will convince you to go and meet his parents because the hero cannot(will not) fly down to meet you for the talks. Do not try to compare him with your man in dreams, there are feeble chances of any matches. You cannot express your opinion right away because it is too early and you don't know him. You just have to say 'OK' despite of your not liking him (much). You feel like someone is throwing you both ends of a rope when you're drowning(NOTE:this line is copied).

Then follows a training session on how to conduct yourself when you're with your prospective in-laws. Don't talk too much because you'll seem talkative or naughty. Don't talk too little because you'll seem dull or haughty. Greet well, speak well and fare well to show you're the right person for them. But of course to be selected, you'll have to be better than the other shortlisted candidates.

Had your stars been lucky, You're done with one such interview and the wedding follows. You still cannot express your opinion about the guy because it is too late now. Even if you dare to open up, thousand mouths will convince you saying you're lucky enough for being liked by someone so early in the hunt and lucky for flying to US. Before you even accept whats going on around you, you will sit in the plane and go whee!

If you do not clear this interview, the same people who were mad about that alliance will start picking holes in it and and say it is good that it has been called off. You can whine about it for some time but will have to smile as if it makes no difference to you. If you're lucky enough, you'll be asked your preferred qualities at this time and henceforth coming proposals will be of some value. Else, the whole process repeats. What a pity!

The whole process of arranged marriage seems flawed to me. What makes it to a successful marriage? Learning about groom's family history through someone else- how reliable is it and how far does it help? Is it enough if he is employed with some dream company and earns dream salary? Is it enough if his parents are well settled and the boy has no financial responsibilities towards them? Nothing can ever guarantee a successful married life. If at all there is something that can make some difference, it is the comfort level the boy and the girl should have with each other. This ,of course, cannot be proof-tested before marriage. Love marriages do not guarantee this either. Love birds getting divorced is also not uncommon these days!Srija and Sirish (if at all they can be called lovers) stand the best example.

Marriage is a gamble. Whether you win/lose is your luck. The only difference is that some know their opponent before hand and some do not. Some will have people to cheer the game and some will have to play it alone. Of course, some will have everything but do not win. Few will be lucky enough to meet their Prince Charming and so they win. I wish all the soon-to-be gamblers good luck!

Farmville!

Old Mc.Donald had a farm,ee-ya-ee-ya-o In his farm,he had a cow,ee-ya-ee-ya-o Moo moo here and a moo moo there, Moo moo here and a moo moo there, Here a moo,there a moo, everywhere a moo-moo.

[caption id="" align="alignright" width="200" caption="Farmville"][/caption]

remember this jingle?

Strangely now it is all different. Todays song will be:
"Old Mc.Donald had a farmville..." to continue. This is the magic farmville has created since June'09. An application to encourage collective farming and social networking, farmville has a very big fan base of its own.

Planting seeds, clearing weeds, milking cows, shooing crows,
	topiaries and statues, white fences and dairy farms, hen coops,penguins and ducks around, now and then mystery eggs are found.
helping neighbors, sending gifts, do all this well, high your exp level shifts.
	The tedious jobs ever done with a mouse click, earning you coins and cash, based on the seeds you pick
Most irritating are the feeds, daily flooding my facebook home, Surprising it is to see, many of my friends have this syndrome!
	Yet I will keep farming till it really bores me, Farming is the primary job in India, and I am a true Indian you see.

Another idiot!

Cheese pizzas and ghee sweets,
dine-in food and heavenly treats,
rice rich in calories and deep fries,
ice cream sundaes and chocolate pies.
roadside bajjis dripping oil,
hot and salted potatoes,with butter they boil.

I walked past all these,
with a sigh on face,
to a gym in my colony,
at my least possible pace.

Two hours of workout
and I was back in form,
My mind was then at peace,
like before a heavenly storm.

I rushed to the road opposite,
as fast as I could.
Greedily devoured some chat,
just like I daily would.

Suddenly it struck me,
my mistake is worth two hours.
Then I sung to myself:
"Give me some sunshine,
Give me some rain,
Give me all the courage,
from high calories, I must refrain"

My first THRILLER!

Late in  the night,
When stars were shining bright,

No moon in the sky,
When jackals started their cry,

someone sneaked into my house,
a silhouette slowly rouse.

it came towards my room,
it neared me in a zoom.

My heart pounded faster and faster,
Sure I was, of some bloody disaster.

The thing was busy searching,
and hardly noticed that I was watching.

Stealthily it slipped out from my room,
slowly fade away,its shadow loomed.

"Thank you God", I sighed a relief.
"There are Ghosts!", strengthend my belief.

I hardly slept rest of the right,
my eyes turned red with irresistable fright.

Soon the day broke,it was past dawn.
Earth shone bright with its morning dress on.

Things got worse-I caught high fever,
Mummy and Daddy, worried they were.

Excited,my brother was,jumping with joy.
"Yippee!", he cried holding his little toy.

Annoyed,I called out,"What is it?"
"This pokemon", he showed a plaything neatly knit.

"You see this radium sticker on its belly?,
It shone bright in your room", he said silly.

So,it wasnt any ghost, my fears then calmed down,
I told my parents all this, and I became family clown.

My computer!

Damn this machine,
I wish that they sell it.
It does everything else,
except what I tell it.

I do often hit it hard,
to make it know I'm hurt.
I neither bathe it nor dust it,
despite its filth and dirt.

I always think it has lost,
just because its dumb.
it shows those Godly errors,
which make my senses numb.

Then it looks victorious,
and smiles at me with triumph.
I give it a nasty look
and say "thats enough".

Yet I love this idiot,
Its my best friend ever.
It shares my interests and secrets
and we will part never!

With all this love,
I get back to my routine.
Lo! another error,
God damn this machine! :-(

Wordpress blog of anoo's records!

Well,this blog is a collection of all the records I have made for myself and break them so often!

1.Song I have listened to myriad number of times:
Its "yekkada vunna" from nuvvekavali.Believe it or not,I have listened to this song 10,762 times a single day!Fantabulous lyrics I must say,a person who is truly mad in love would enjoy this song like hell.
PS:I am NOT in love.Yet I LOVEEEEEE this song.
Many other songs are still in queue,but this still remains my first choice.

2.Film I have watched uncounted number of times:
Its nuvvu naaku nahcchav..Dont know what magic's there in the movie,whenever I feel glum,I just play it and it revitalises me.
Perfect combo of comedy,love and sentiment.I still manage to find time to watch the movie atleast once a week in this busy schedule[4th sem in IIIT-CSE] of ours.

3.Well heres it-another record which I have recently made:
My mom was not at home ,neither my dad.So,I planned a big surprise for them-I decided that I would cook for them.I made Lemon Rice,cooked some dal and plain rice of which none of them turned to be edible.
Lemon Rice is the best of all-it atleast looked like one though it tasted extremely sour.Dal and plain rice turned out to be brown in color which I couldnt even look at for the second time- forget tasting them.
After they came home,we had a hearty laugh over this and discarded this "material" which our neighbours dog didnt taste either.
Great me!

4.Another record worth mentioning is that
I have watched Stalin in theature twice after watching it on my laptop.
No more elaborations on that!I guess it says it all.

5.Ultimate Replication:
Dont know in which class I was then.A painting competetion was condcuted in our school.
The topic was "Anything that makes you smile".
I was extremely lazy to give it a try to think on my own.
I just looked into my neighbours paper.He had artistically drawn a clown by then and was coloring it.
I merely copied everything from his paper including the colors he was filling in.
Believe this or not,
I even copied his name,his roll number,class and section which was the biggest mistake I made.
Both of our names were shortlisted[Ahem..in copied list] and the poor fella was disqualified for the final round.
Clever me!I denied that I copied from him..There was nothingon that paper that belonged to me!:D

[to be continued]

Tagged!!!

A living person whom I would like to meet:
Well I have seen many of my friends write about hollywood actors.My choice would be Dr.Kamal Hassan.There isnt any other Indian actor who is so dedicated to his profession.He literally worships work and Its not an exaggeration if I say the film "Mahanadi" which portrays a real life incident has made me cry the whole day.The film is all about how a happy-living family is scattered and the worst part of it is that the girl is sold to a brothel and the boy is left to his fate.Kamal played the lead as a hapless villager who lost and discovered his family in the metropolis and any other actor would not have done as good as him.Mahanadi is just an example.Indian,Anbe sivam[satyame sivam],Vichitra sodarulu[Kamal walks on his knees in the whole movie],Subhasankalpam[He played a fisherman who loses all his dear ones to save his master],Sagara sangamam[He played a middle class guy who is extremely passionate about dance-he fails in his love,his mother expires yet he finally wins.] .The very first thing thats appreciable in him is that he is very innovative,he craves for something new every time.The awards and felicitations he won are worth mentioning.-Padmasri,Doctarate,national awards,best debut actor in six regional markets all over India......And not to forget to mention-He is the first actor who turned his fan club into a non-profit organisation.

A non-living person whom I would like to meet:
That would be Kalpana Chawla.Its great to see women reach great heights.Well,I am a perfect feminiser in this context!

An event in history I would like to change:
Well,It would be the hijack of Indian airlines in Dec,1999.The rascals killed Mr.Rupin Katyal who was going on a honeymoon with his wife just for the heck of "FRIGHTENING THE PASSENGERS"[$$$$$$$].One of the newspapers at that time said "All the houses in Kolkatta lit diyas to welcome the new year and bid a bye to old year whereas Rupin's house lit a diya in his remembrance to pay him homage and bid him bye forever."I was moved.Nothing can be done to make his family smile on a new year day[Ahem..I coined this term just now].The trauma is indelible in their life..but If given a chance,I would erase this event in world history.

A movie I would like to witness without me being a part of it:
I would go with Deepti.All films which are meant to make India a better place are my choices.

A literary character I would like to meet:
Its Heidi..no doubt.The cute gal of Alps..got her?
Or its Tom sawyer,I just love Tom's story.The way he flirted with Becky,the way they sealed their love,the way he ran away from his house just to find out how much Aunt Polly loved him,those silly fights in love at such a tender age are really funny!

An incident in the history which I would like to witness:
Its the first naval parade in India.[I love Navy.:)]
choice2:Its the wedding of my parents.Yeah,I know its weird.But all of my aunts said they served 12 kinds of sweets at that time.And all my 32 teeth are sweet.I mean I have a sweeeeeeeeeeet tooth.

And Lastly..Thanks for tagging me Nammu!;)

Gags..Unforgettable!!

Well,these are some of dialogues my friends keep saying the most.The main intention of me writing this post is to call up all those memories whenever I read this post.
Divya:-
Chik chiklet..shok shoklet..
Hey yidiot..
Endi..enjestanna?
Harshita:-

The list is endless..But the one which strikes my mind in
the first place is "eyeye..BP..BP.."
"Naaku lenivi rende rendu."
"tataku daggulu nerpaku"

Lydia:-

"Please leave your footwear before you enter"
"Abba=Father..."
"NBH rotis..eatable hard disks"That's best of all the PJs I heard till date.

Namrata:-

She is very (in)famous for the telugu she speaks."Kancham lo koncham biyyam eyyandi[Put some rice in the plate]
"Atanu amenu preminchatlede..[That guy does not love her.]
This may not seem that funny,but the emotions she showed when she said these words are unexpressible[If such a word exists].
"Miru vahchingane nannu pilavande..[Call me once you people are back..]

Navatha:-"Yo..buddies.."

PhaniDeepti:
"you rack mama.."
"Ultimate kada"
Well,I guess i need to include her in Laughs unforgettable..since the only way in which I know that Deepti is back to her room is that I hear a big sound that nearly makes me jump out of my skin-Naah...Its
not the music sound...You might have guessed it already..

Ramya:-"padinde padara pachi palla dasuda"..
If somebody had seen me laughing at this,they would have mistaken me for a lunatic..I was literally rolling on the floor with hands on my stomach when I heard this for the first time..
"Yenki pelli subbi chaavu ki vachchindani"
"Pani leni mangaladu pilli tala gorigadu anta"
"Koti..koti ..enduku puttav ante..chakkaga unnollani ekkirinchataniki"

Sahiti:-Censored......[:P]

Shalini:-She speaks less..shows more..:P
No offense..What I meant is that her "do"-es are more funny han her speech.
"Rendu pens vunaya?"
"Hey common..write it" are her favourite lines.

Sushma:-
Sorry rebba..
hey come on

Spandana:-

"Hmm...opika lede"
"Sey...dgs"

Prashasti always retorts "had hai bhai.." when I tease her by the name of Harry Potter..And Shika bids a sweet 'hi' everytime we meet.
Well thats it...