How beautiful! I love this statement.
To bid good-bye is not easy,
It’s the toughest thing to do.
What hurts even more is,
I couldn’t tell this to you.
Memories of yesterday,
Beautiful and bright.
Its all dark now,
For You’re no-where in sight.
Up above the sky,
You found a new home.
Where Gods reside
And angels like you roam.
Remains of you here,
Deep inside my heart,
Keep me sound and alive,
For souls never part.
It rains as if you shed your tears for me,
If happy you are, colorful rainbow I see.
This is in honor to all the love we shared,
Waiting for the doom from which I was spared.
Awesome poem!
ReplyDeleteIt's really good. But at one or two places, the rhyme seems to me to be out of place. I'd say try letting go of rhyme once. But maybe that's just me.
ReplyDeleteGood work, keep writing :)
nice one ...
ReplyDeleteNice one ...
ReplyDeleteM speechless! Truly Amazing!
ReplyDeleteBagundi...chaaala bagundi
ReplyDeletegood one .. but as aniket said, at some places it was kinda awkward .. really good though!
ReplyDeleteWow... the rhyme looks so natural and obvious. You always have rhyming in your poems and yet it looks consistent and obvious... Personally, I have a hard time rhyming two lines. :(
ReplyDeleteBy the way, theme of the poem is good. :)
Nice :)
ReplyDeleteNice one.
ReplyDelete"It rains as if you shed your tears for me," idi kummesindi...
nice one ... keep writing ..
ReplyDelete@Aniket
ReplyDeleteRhyme is the only attraction my poems have,according to me :)
I don't use rich vocab and neither do I blog on exciting to pics.
Will surely try to write one as you suggested.
Special thanks for the honest comment.
How do I send these to mag?
@all
Thank you!
Hmm.
ReplyDeleteActually I have a different idea while attempting to write poetry. I lay stress on the idea, and try to keep the language as 'tight' as possible, meaning not a word more, not a word less. And I also take care not to give my own opinion, but try to 'lead' the reader to the opinion by stating some facts objectively.
Hehe how far am I able to do this is open to discussion :D Just wanted to tell you all this. And don't downplay your poetry by talking like that, your ideas are admirable :). Vaise toh we all have miles to go before we can be satisfied :|
Vaise I personally don't like rhyme unless in a song, or poems which are written to be made into songs (like Sainani's) so maybe I'm forcing my opinion on you. Pardon me if you think so. And please mail your poems to me to submit them to the mag.